Top 10 Songs For The Lovelorn

Have you had your heart trodden on recently? Did she leave a footprint on it, the exact size of those bright blue pumps she used to wear? Did the heel pierce your chest? That must have hurt. Poor you. Are you still wearing his shirt? Don’t. Take it off. Put on a pretty skirt or something. Is that his picture on your wall? You can’t leave that there. Tear it up. Put some lipstick on and get out of bed.

Are you struggling to find a fitting soundtrack for your grief? Well sad sacks, you’re in luck. Are you ready to pine? Yes? Good. Open up a tub of chocolate fudge icecream and we can begin.

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10. ‘I Know It’s Over’ – THE SMITHS

You clinging to this dead relationship is what we in the “googling psychological concepts” business call denial. It’s cool because Morrissey does it too.

9. ‘Heartstopper’ – EMILIANA TORRINI

I’m hanging out outside his house and drinking all the coffee. Which probably explains why I haven’t slept in a couple days…

8. ‘Don’t Wanna Know If You’re Lonely’ – HÜSKER DÜ

The best part about the break-up is that I don’t have to listen to you whining anymore. This is better known as anger.

7. ‘I’ll Kill Her‘ - SOKO

She stole your future. She- with her long legs and stupid face. How could he love someone with such a stupid face?

6. ‘Bratty B’ – BEST COAST

I miss you, I’ll buy you a new shirt, come on call me call me call me. This is called bargaining.

5. ‘I’ll Cry Instead’- THE BEATLES

Lennon sure is sad, but he’s bargaining with himself. He’s allowed to cry so long as he goes out and breaks some hearts. Go break some hearts, yo.

4. Hurricane Drunk’ - FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

Go out. Go drinking. Hope he’s not there with some tart. Doesn’t she know you guys only broke up like 7 months ago? It’s okay, you can cry; your wounds are still healing.

3. ‘Not What You Want’ – CAT POWER

Still depressed? At least now you know Chan Marshall is in the same melancholy boat. A prediction on how long you’ll be here sobbing- about three weeks.

2. ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ - THE CURE

Did she dump you because you’re a jerk-wad? You probably deserved it, but Robert Smith gets you. Just remember, boys don’t cry but men sure do.

1. ‘Say Yes’ – ELLIOTT SMITH

Smith comes to accept his heartbreak, because hey, he’s still around the morning after. You too, could be another fool. But foolishness sure beats despondency.

SPECIAL BONUS VIDEO TRACK:

‘Henry Lee ‘- NICK CAVE AND THE BAD SEEDS

Nick Cave does despair better than anyone else. Little did he know, P.J. Harvey would shank him later, metaphorically speaking.

Words by Hannah Story.